The view outside my sober healing bubble

24 Oct

3:56 pm

Tired, but hanging in there…

…not unlike the one car that YOU happen to be on that gets stuck, dangling in mid-air on the roller coaster ride called sobriety. Or life. Or living sober. Or just living.

I had a job interview today, and I only got about three hours sleep last night due to waking up at about 3 am and then tossing and turning for the next four hours. I had the worst recurring “nightmare,” too: I was literally buried under mounds and mounds of possible interview clothes, and I had like, 45 minutes to pick an outfit. I was running out of time, and I had no idea what pieces I wanted to put together, and I needed help, so I frantically called in…an old boss of mine? What? Anyway, it was SO stressful. When I finally shook the sleep out of me, I realized with sweet relief that real life is actually better than my dreams–kind of like when you dream you’re drinking, or drunk, and then you wake up to the fact of your sobriety. Sweet, sweet relief.

Someone emailed me the other day, and she reminded me of what I’ve heard before, that the first year is about getting sober and learning how to stay sober; while the second year is about learning how to live sober. I think I’m finally simply understanding this shift, from “healing” to “living;” and that I can’t stay inside my sober healing bubble forever. Unless I want to either stagnate and/or drink again.

As you’ve seen, I’ve been sort of getting my mojo back when it comes to socializing and work. Today, I took a BIG peek–maybe even a step!–outside my sober healing bubble and went on a job interview. Now, I have gone on a couple in-person interviews in the past two years (when I left my last full-time job to begin freelancing), but my last one was last June, and last June seems like FOREVER ago. In fact, I believe I was stupid hung over on that day–big surprise.

Anyway, today I interviewed sober and not hung over, and I felt good. Good to start to put myself back out there, in all ways, not just pitching and talking on the phone in the comfort of my own sober living room. Good to have to stress myself out a bit, whether that was finding an outfit (I’m picky, so I reluctantly spent more than I could afford), or driving myself downtown, or finding parking (I’m pretty sure I fucked that one up and parked where I shouldn’t have), or introducing myself to a new person and having to talk about myself for half an hour.

I don’t know if I want this job, but it would be SO nice to have some reliable income–a 9-to-5 job is manna from heaven to this girl right about now. In any case, over the past few weeks I’ve managed to land a few other freelance gigs that could turn into more substantial income, so that’s definitely good news. The name of this game is persistence and/or how bad you want it. Fortunately, I have at least one (persistence), which I might be confusing with banging my head against a brick wall, but so it goes.

So, that was what happened this morning. And now, back to my regularly scheduled program of looking to see SO many other science writers being published, especially in two new-ish magazines. Le sigh. One day…one day.

7 Responses to “The view outside my sober healing bubble”

  1. losedabooze October 24, 2013 at 5:31 pm #

    It’s interesting to read about your experience – while I’m just trying to embark on the healing part, I can’t wait to get to the LIVING part … where the work to being sober is not as much work.

    • Drunky Drunk Girl October 25, 2013 at 1:49 pm #

      And, it will come! The hardest part about “addiction,” or whatever we call it, is the emotional pull. And that feels like something, too; I felt my cravings in my gut, in my heart–literally. But, once you get past them, which is simply a matter of doing it and practicing it over and over; then…wow, the relief is amazing. You just have to start, one day at a time, and know that it will get easier.

      The voice that says you CAN just have one, you CAN drink in moderation AND have whatever it is you want–freedom from craving was mine, in essence–is wrong, is fucking WOLFIE in your ear. And, wolfie needs to die.

      I love never being hung over anymore, and that, really, is the one thing that keeps me going. I simply don’t think I could stomach another hangover.

      What helped me, honesty, was committing to a period of days–like maybe start with 30, or 60, and just see how it feels–and then simply not drinking no matter what. The act of not drinking when you want to does a lot of the healing work for you, at least physically and physiologically, in the beginning.

      I am rooting for you! xx

  2. Iambizi October 24, 2013 at 11:12 pm #

    Great that you had an interview…funny hwat we dream about!

  3. furtheron October 25, 2013 at 1:16 pm #

    I know those bizarre dreams that even whilst you are in them you know it is nuts but it still feels so real.

    Well done on the interview and hoping you get something from it.

  4. Running From the Booze October 26, 2013 at 12:18 am #

    You’re my trailblazer. Its nice to know what’s up ahead. I’m still in healing mode but now I see that its going to keep getting a little better. Thx DDG.

    • Drunky Drunk Girl November 6, 2013 at 6:49 pm #

      YES, don’t give up. It sucks and sucks and hurts and hurts and then…it doesn’t. And, then…it gets better. And, I can honestly say, without being one of those rainbow-sober people: I think it’s going to *finally* start getting really good. Even better. Life is starting to feel not just normal again, but also RIGHT. More right than before. Or, maybe it’s just felt so wrong for so long (getting sober), that this just feels more right than normal right. I don’t know, but all the struggle seems to be worth it now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


A psychiatrist blogging about her own demons and trying to deal with them sober

Storm in a Wine Glass

I used to drink and now I don't


Sobriety, Lipstick, & the Occasional Muppet Sound from Author Kristi Coulter

Laura Parrott Perry

We've all got a story to tell.

Finding a Sober Miracle

A woman's quest for one year of sobriety

Dorothy Recovers

An evolving tale of a new life in recovery

Lose 'da Booze

MY Journey towards Losing 'da Booze Voice within and regaining self-control

Laurie Works

MA., NCC, RYT, Somatic Witch

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

The Soberist Blog

a life in progress ... sans alcohol


Getting sober to be a better mother, wife, and friend


the musings and reflections of one person's mental amusement park


-Postcards from The Cauldron

Guitars and Life

Blog about life by a music obsessed middle aged recovering alcoholic from South East England


A woman's journey to happiness and health

Sober Identity

#Life Coach #50+ Years #Striving #Thriving #Emerge: Growing From Addiction-Starter's Guide" #AfterRehabCoaching


This site is about hope, trauma, hypocrisy, and transformation.

A Canvas Of The Minds

A unique collaboration of different perspectives on mental health and life

married to an alcoholic

life with an alcoholic husband

Life Unbuzzed

Rowing my sober boat gently down the stream


Original Goal: 100 Days of Sobriety - New Goal: 200 Days

Sober Grace

Finding and practicing grace in recovery

Mended Musings

Healing, Feeling, Thriving

Stinkin' Thinkin'

muckraking the 12-step industry

Sober Politico

Young and Sober, Surrounded by Egos and Alcohol

Carrie On Sober

A blog to help keep me on the right track...

My Healing Recovery

Healing from the inside

The Sober Journalist

A blog about quietly getting sober


My Desire for a New and Better Life

Arash Recovery

My journey to get back on my feet


Mixed-up, Mashed-up, Mished-up.

The Party Doesn't Leave the Girl

a memoir of


I'm not really here.


There are no coincidences.

The Red Sox Saved My Life

A peek into the recovery of another drunk.


Just another site

The Existential Addict

One choice at a time...

Al K Hall-ic Anonymous

Get With The Program.


How gratitude has helped me stay sober, "one day at a time."

Living Life In Control

A journey into taking control of life and seeing what's on the other side of the mountain

Bucket List Publications

Indulge- Travel, Adventure, & New Experiences

How I Secretly Quit My Secret Habit of Secretly Drinking

Out of the Bottle

I Dream of Beaming

Wandering American

Advice and tips on how to travel the world.

%d bloggers like this: