Counting in weeks now…One down, infinity to go!

19 Oct

10:20 am

I’m one week sober as of yesterday! I’m counting in weeks now.

I went to another meeting the day before yesterday (my second), and I’m glad I did. I don’t know, I just felt…recharged. Renewed. I guess that’s what AA is supposed to do, right? It was nice to meet new people, though, and I’m sure that contributed to the feeling of “doing something” that seemed to negate the feeling of “sure would love to down some wine.”

Sure, I still want to drink every second of every day — and that seemed to surprise someone at the meeting, which equally pissed me off and made me almost laugh out loud — AA doesn’t take that away. In fact, I want to drink MORE after having gone to a meeting, at least based on my little experience with meetings. It’s like that with therapy, too: the second I open the flood gates and either start talking about it to myself or another person, I really wouldn’t mind a cocktail (or, glass or two or three or four of red). The same woman was astounded by this revelation on my part. Meh.

Writing about it, on the other hand, takes away the obsession and/or desire.

So, yes. On Day 8. Or, Week 2. šŸ˜‰

(I have a bunch of work to do today, and so, I think I’m going to keep on keeping myself ULTRA-busy. That’s what helped me the last time, and I think it’s what’s going to help me this time…through the restlessness, the irritation, the ruminating on my brother and his bitch-from-hell girlfriend/crazy person, my dad’s ridiculous idea of a “relationship” with his own flesh and blood daughter, etc. On a happy note, the island is wonderful! Third time and I feel like it’s home. And, it was SO NICE to meet new people, on my own, instead of through others. I know it takes time to meet peeps that you mesh with, especially after having moved to a new place; and it takes work. For some reason, I don’t want to drink, I’m starting to feel social again, and I want to meet new people, try new things, and in general, get it goin’ ON again! Could it be this sobriety thing? OH! I also actually sort of want to start reading the Big Book. I know, I know, ridiculous, right? It feels like a class, an assignment; I’m good at classes and assignments. But also…I’m curious. AND, I’m so ready to stop drinking, to not want to drink, to absolutely rid myself of the obsession (the voice inside my head and heart that says, A glass of wine would be so good right now, when in reality, it would so NOT be good, would make me feel like ass, and would pack on unwanted calories, all of which would lead to me feeling defeated and guilty). And, based on the near-zero desire to drink this week (probably the least since I quit on June 13th, actually)…maybe the Big Book and the talking DOES help? Hmm…)

6 Responses to “Counting in weeks now…One down, infinity to go!”

  1. Sword-chinned bitch October 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Good for you! A day at a time…

  2. runningonsober October 20, 2012 at 12:10 am #

    One week down! Yay! Keep that open attitude. Great to hear you happy.

    • Drunky Drunk Girl October 24, 2012 at 3:48 am #

      Yep! Feeling quite strong, and committed, to at least 90 days. There’s no turning back now…

  3. Lisa Neumann October 21, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    A day late, but been thinking about you. As always, giggled my way through the post. I love how you never stay serious (I think I’m serious) I am secretly jealous of funny people at meetings, blogs, parties. Sad but true. Okay, back to you. yippee for week two. There is a beautiful gal screaming to come out and see the world. Let her. She goes away and hides when you drink…. her twin masquerades as you. Lots o love … me

    • Drunky Drunk Girl October 24, 2012 at 3:50 am #

      Uh, she actually keeps screaming when she goes away and drinks! šŸ˜‰ Thanks! Yes, I think abstinence helps — and, based on my experience, is a result — of striving after your passion, and engaging in it on a very full-time basis. It’s hard to think about drinking when you’re busy living your dreams and passions.

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