9:56 am
Yes, fly! Well, strapped to a harness overlooking almost 4,500 feet of air! Thanks to Bucket List Publications blog, I’ve been totally inspired to make this year the year of “Don’t Ask Why, Ask Why Not” and “Just Do It” (when it comes to adventure sports-type things like being, falling, or diving through the air). Thanks, Lesley! 🙂
I just got back from three days in Puerto Rico, and this time, we crashed a luxury hotel, ate hamburgers, walked around Old San Juan, sat in the hot tub, swam in the pool, ate cold cuts, and went ziplining, in a nutshell! Oh, and shopped. Of course. Man, I have to say, Puerto Ricans really take their shopping seriously. (I got a dog collar for my new girl, complete with laser-engraved name tag; we got a Roku to watch well, tons of shit on. Aww/Yay.)
I’m also at 90 DAYS SOBER today, and man, I cannot tell you how GLAD I am that I wasn’t hung over when I woke up after three hours’ sleep to hit the nature park where we ziplined! I don’t think you need me to remind you. I mean, I would’ve pushed through (barely), but, it’s still so fresh in my mind, that sickening pain and agony…
Anyway, I was thinking this morning as I was making my (decaf iced) coffee, Well, Drunky Drunky Girl, you can go and get your 90-day chip tonight and then, it’s up to you, to drink or not to drink. That was the deal I made with myself.
But…why? Why should I start on The Grape again?
The most pressing concerns really stand out:
1. I still don’t feel that well. I mean, I feel more tired than usual, a lot of the time. I feel like my digestive system, which acupuncturist after acupuncturist has complained is “weak” is well, still weak. Frankly, I don’t think I can afford to drink wine again…yet. My body still feels sort of worn out.
2. I have a bucket list a mile long for this year, which includes freelancing more and planning more adventures. How can I spend money on booze AND save for these things?
3. 8 Tuff Miles, the 8-mile road race I signed up for, is coming up end of February. I, um, really need to start training for that (knees hurt, body feels tired)–drinking won’t help!
Anyway, happy first week of January, y’all, and I’ll check back in later to tell you all about flying through the sky in Orocovis hooked to some cables, and, well, further thoughts on 90 days. It’s here. It’s really, really here!
Drunky Drunk Girl 
CONGRATS on 90 days! So so so awesome. From my experience, things got waaaay better in the mental/physical department for me post-90 days. By the way, have you heard about P.A.W.S? Worth a google if you don’t know about this. It sounds like you’re having some P.A.W.S. issues w/feeling tired and not always settled, etc. Helped me enormously to know there was a reason I still feel like shit sometimes even though I’m sober. Enjoy getting that chip today!
Hi, Chicago,
Thanks so much for reminding me of PAWS–went online right after I read your comment and checked it out. I had, I guess, forgotten that one could experience all this garbage months to years after getting sober! ARG! Oh, well, I’m glad it’s not too bad anymore, but I do feel a definite “meh” at certain times when I’m romanticizing a glass of wine “making it so much more fun;” or, I feel depressed for no reason; or, I can’t focus as hard as I used to, and go-go-go like I used to, on my work at the moment; or, my memory is somewhat shitty! I should blog about this…
Anyway, thanks! And, yes, the meeting tonight was good (a bit oppressive, but that’s AA down here for ya, I guess), and I GOT MY CHIP! 90 DAYS! Finally, eh?
xx
90 days?…..GLORIOUS!! Congrats to you. The longer you keep this up the shorter your bucket list will become!
YES! Thanks for reminding me of another reason to stay sober! 🙂
How amazingly exciting 🙂 I’m super happy for you! And I like your list of ‘why would I drink’ … basically it sounds like you’re saying “I have this big life I want to live, and booze just gets in the way.” Amen to that! And for me at least, the longer i don’t drink, the less interesting it seems, and the MORE i have to look forward to … Here’s to having a life 🙂 hugs from the universe xoxo
That’s EXACTLY what I’m thinking! I’m also thinking (and I find myself thinking it and getting better and better at thinking it), Wine will not make this better. Wine will only make it seem better for like, a few minutes, and then 48 hours of feeling WAY WORSE will ensue. I can even remember times now when the buzz sucked, so I got nothing out of drinking. Zilch.
Anyway, YES. Not sure if I have a life yet, but my baby steps are definitely getting toddler-like!
Big hugs back atcha, Universe! 🙂
Congratulations!! So happy for you. I love your blog, so don’t stop writing! Heather
Thanks, Heather! Look forward to reading more of your blog and your book…due out soon? AWESOME and very inspiring…
There is something very special about the 90 day mark, I am so happy for you, and proud of your decision to continue sobriety! Also, ziplining? KICKASS:)
Yes, kickass, indeed!
Hmm. I do feel good, but better than that for me, at least, is that: it’s just another day being sober. Nothing too different from the day before or, hopefully, the day after. SMOOTH, happy sails, and I’ll take it!
Wow, sounds like an amazing time, and zip lining, how brave! I am jealous… Glad you had such a great holiday.
And CONGRATULATIONS on 90 days! It is a real milestone and a great opportunity to reflect on how far you’ve come. I agree with Belle, it sound alike the answer to ‘why drink?’ is… why? What will it give you now? More importantly, what will it take away? I like your thinking… I’m thinking more this way myself these days… that booze can only get in the way of all these great plans that are far more exciting and rewarding than any stupid drunk.
Last July I went 80 days alcohol free and was starting to feel great. Then, I had a ‘fuck it’ moment and had ‘one little drink’. I am STILL trying to get back on track. I’m just cautioning you, now that you’ve reached 90, not to fall into the trap of thinking you can drink ‘just once’ or ‘just a little’ and get straight back on the sober bandwagon. Unfortunately, it’s not always that easy.
Keep going my friend, you’re doing GREAT!
Lilly x
Thank you for the cautioning! I’m definitely aware of my thoughts, and I can honestly say, I KNOW I’ll drink more than one, or two, or three, if I drink one, so…I won’t drink one. That’s all I know for now.
I was reading your post the other day, and I LOVE the way you’re thinking now about your drinking. There is no right or wrong way to strive for “drinking less,” “controlling your drinking,” or “abstinence.” I put all of these in quotes because I think every single person reaches their place and defines it in their own way, in their own time.
It took me a lot of processing, and many, many years of REACHING and BECOMING aware of my drinking problem–today’s problem, not necessarily tomorrow’s. I don’t believe in “once a drunk, always a drunk,” so that might annoy some AA lurkers, but I don’t care. I wholly believe in rehabilitation, at least right now, when it comes to my relationship to booze, mainly wine. I might be wrong, and it might take a long time to get back to not wanting to down 5 glasses instead of 2, but…
Way to go on thinking it through and continuing to get closer to a decisive place in your mind re: your drinking. I think it’s great, and progress.
xx