10:47 am
Good morning. Or, is it?
I woke up to some fierce lower back pain and immediately took 4 Advil. It’s a bummer, knowing that at 39, all I can do is work with the pain and not–maybe never–remove it. It’s weird; I feel handicapped. It makes me sad, angry, and worn out. It is constant, and I feel like I’ve tried everything to fix it. I have, for the most part, given up.
And, this is all before I commence to sit right back down on my ass, spine crunching nerves, and get to work. THIS is what I do; I can’t seem to figure out another way.
Yet, the day is bright, and I have my plans, and I’m not thinking of drinking, and, well: happiness is a choice. I’m not sure why it’s a hard one to make sometimes, and why is should take effort (as in, maybe I’m doing it wrong), but, happiness is a constantly-being-made choice, isn’t it? Happiness is a choice. And, I can do this. If there is one thing I can do now, it’s this. I can usher the bad thoughts out, or sequester them, or filter them out gradually through some deep breaths. I’m still left with the pain, yes, but I can see my choice, facing me, and it is simple: happy or not?
I choose happy. But, mostly, I know now that I GET to choose. How black is that? (SNL reference!)
Drunky Drunk Girl 
Wow. I really needed to hear this right now! I am sitting at work, feeling completely overwhelmed, like I am on a sinking ship, and I decided to quickly read a couple of blogs. Thank you for reminding me that happiness is a choice. It’s crazy how quickly I can forget that.
~Jami
I’m so glad! And, thank YOU for commenting and allowing me to see I’m not the only one who feels overwhelmed some mornings… Yeah, it’s a minute-by-minute choice, I’m finding. Some minutes, it’s easier than others to forget that. HUGS. xx
I have been trying to remember that too. And to see that happiness that is present in between the bad stuff (because there is always some there, it seems)… Thanks for the reminder today. ~Jen
Thank YOU! Feels good to not be so alone in having to remind myself to take a deep breath and realize that I get to choose how I take on the world today…
That’s tough, back pain is so awful. I love the simple message here.
I choose happy too.
Thanks for the reminder here.
Let’s keep it simple. And happy. And sober.
Hope your back feels better x
Thank you! Yes, it’s subsiding. I think another day or so, and the flare will be finished. Till then, fake it till you (I) make it, stay happy, and put it to bed, if need be. 🙂