2:57 pm
I just wanted to say I’m here, recuperating, putting most–if not all–of my energy reserves into maintaining my momentum.
I am not going to write a long post today because I’m still sort of…spinning. Trying to regain my energy so that I can process what’s happened, deal with my freelance life, and try not to let my “post-trip letdown” turn into a meltdown, i.e., lose that forward momentum I was looking for and seemed to have found. I felt ignited, and energized. I also pushed myself really hard, and lost almost 15 pounds in less than a month–every “high” has its low, right? I have to be patient. I swear, I’ve started like, 10 posts this past week and didn’t finish one because I felt overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings but also, too ambivalent to express them.
I’m tired, grumpy, and don’t really feel like dwelling on sobriety. I am sober, it’s just what I do. You get to the point where yes, everything is probably about being sober, but no, you absolutely don’t have to examine it or even care. That’s how I feel today. I’m glad I didn’t drink wine last night–I really wanted to, my mood has been low since I came home, and scattered–mainly because I am not hung over today, and being hung over today would suck. Being hung over sucks, so not drinking makes sense. That’s about as difficult as it has to get, you know?
Off to enjoy my day, do some reading, and hopefully, a hike and/or swim, send some resumes (yup, we’re doing that again!), and I don’t know, look at the stars and not think about not drinking! 😉
Drunky Drunk Girl 
“I am sober, it’s just what I do”…damn, right on the money. No need to over examine or obsess over the past…a very inspiring thought for me today. Thanx!
I always look forward to your posts. This is great. Booze is out of the picture, the rest we decide for ourselves.
It sucks that whole post-trip let down. I struggle with that every time I come back from a big trip. Gratitude has helped me out of the icky feelings a lot and also just accepting that it’s normal and that it will get better. BIG hugs to you!
Thanks, Rebecca! I’ve been horrible at replying to comments lately, but I really do appreciate your support! 🙂