I’m back–quick update

5 Jun

11:12 am

Well, I’m back. And, what a trip! We covered 3,000 flight miles each way, and 2,500 in the car! Needless to say, I haven’t had much time to blog, but I’ve been thinking about everyone and wanted to write a quick update.

The wedding went GRAND. The girlfriend ignored me–literally, pretended I didn’t exist/wasn’t in the room (how someone does that for an entire 48-hour period is interesting, I suppose). And, I returned the favor! 🙂

And that was that. I realized almost immediately my error in resenting her and giving her all this power all these years–she is literally powerless, which makes her irrelevant to my life. I have–and always had–the power over my reality. Beyond that, I tried to enjoy me, and my brother, and the family, and my boyfriend meeting the family, and all the amazing food, sites, and sounds!

The ceremony was magical, and I felt amazing–calm, happy, calmer and happier than I have in years. I/we were just…present. Not caring about what she was doing or saying (which was ridiculous, and I’ll blog about it later, but right now, the main word that comes to mind for her is “mentally ill”).

We then went on a week-long road trip through “the West” (of the US), hitting four states, four national parks, and two major cities. Whew. Now, it’s back to work…for two weeks. Because two weeks from today, I leave for a 6-week “voluntouring” trip to another country! If I told you which one, it might blow the anonymity of this blog, but suffice it to say, it’s a neighboring place that’s been in the news lately! I am really excited, having planned where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing, embraced a certain level of emotional and physical uncertainty, and determined my immediate next steps upon return.

I have to say, and this has happened before, when you reveal yourself to the world–your dreams, let’s say–the world responds! I was a bit nervous calling my boss here and being like, Hey, can I ghost on you for the next six weeks to go and volunteer in a developing country, and then, uh, maybe come back to my job? He was not only cool with it, he gave me his “blessing” (his word, which I appreciated so much I am quoting him!). Turns out, before becoming a real estate agent, his thesis work was on similar stuff in the South Sudan. Click. When will I learn? Stop being afraid, DDG! The world rewards–craves–our bravery of spirit and humility of soul.

Back to work. Like I said, I will dish much further on “the girlfriend” later. I must end with this: at the end of the event, I realized one thing, and that is that it is not about her, or him, or them, it’s about ME. I can’t quite explain, but I realized just how much energy I wasted putting any of MYSELF into thinking about the girlfriend’s thoughts of me, or anyone else for that matter. It’s my world, my path, my mind; no one else’s. It doesn’t matter at all what or whether she thinks of me.

Thank you, friends! You were there with me every step of the way this past two weeks.

Day 500–coming up on July 31. No thoughts or desires to drink, btw. Maybe I’ve outgrown it? Maybe, as Belle said, it just takes a longer, continuous period of sobriety to reach greater levels of freedom from the want to drink? Whatever it is, I’ll take it.

14 Responses to “I’m back–quick update”

  1. jenisthesoberist June 5, 2014 at 11:53 am #

    Yay! I am so happy it went well…you sound so happy and full of life…simply amazing! Keep doing your thing, DDG! xo

  2. Mrs D June 5, 2014 at 2:24 pm #

    Oh my god I love it I love it I love it. xxxxx

    • Drunky Drunk Girl June 5, 2014 at 3:17 pm #

      Thank you, Mrs. D! I got your comment/check-in last week, and it was so awesome to know you were thinking about me. *deep sigh of relief* Time to move on!? 🙂

  3. moretomethanthis June 5, 2014 at 4:15 pm #

    Hi there DDG, not sure if I have commented on your blog before or not, but have been lurking and following the whole girlfriend / wedding saga, and am so glad that it all went off OK 🙂 Sounds like you have really moved on from this difficult relationship. And what a great trip, too! Life sounds good all round – an inspiring picture of a sober life! xx

  4. themiracleisaroundthecorner June 5, 2014 at 6:54 pm #

    Yippee! So glad to hear all the great news! and I CAN’T WAIT for you to dish the dirt! Best of luck in your work travels!

  5. skyp0127 June 5, 2014 at 7:48 pm #

    I just have to say you hit it right on the spot. We have always had power over our reality! If only we always knew that. 🙂

  6. a reader June 5, 2014 at 7:56 pm #


  7. cassie June 5, 2014 at 8:28 pm #

    This is the BEST update!!!!!!!!!! “it’s about ME” YESSSSSS sistah! PREACH IT! I recently said those exact words out loud in a conversation and I swear, air left the other person’s lungs because they were like Uh, wait, what? Completely flipped that conversation right around and I was in charge! SO empowering!

    I can not wait to hear the deets!!

  8. carrythemessage June 5, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

    We’ve always had control over what we let bother us…and you’re seeing that. You don’t have to like everyone, and others will disturb us in some way or fashion, but it’s how we respond to that dislike or whatnot. I have something coming up this weekend with my brother who I don’t have a relationship with (or as my therapist would say, I *do* have a relationship with him – a difficult one…lol) and I am not looking forward to it. So I will have to take my own advice here.

    Nice to see you back 🙂


  9. thirstystill June 5, 2014 at 10:04 pm #

    I’m super glad it went so well for you!!! It’s good to hear you sounding so strong and clear. xo

  10. Amy June 6, 2014 at 7:05 am #

    Yay! I’m so glad to hear all this! This part

    ” I can’t quite explain, but I realized just how much energy I wasted putting any of MYSELF into thinking about the girlfriend’s thoughts of me, or anyone else for that matter. It’s my world, my path, my mind; no one else’s. It doesn’t matter at all what or whether she thinks of me.”

    helps me with someone I’m struggling with now. Being able to let go of the drama and heal without it being a two party agreement. Huh. I like that possibility.

    You sound great. 🙂 xoxoxo

  11. changingcoursenow June 6, 2014 at 12:46 pm #

    So happy you had a great trip and can’t wait to hear more about your mystery trip. You sound very strong and secure … Just lovely!

  12. furtheron June 10, 2014 at 9:41 am #

    glad to read that you are back and well

  13. Rebecca A. Watson June 11, 2014 at 4:36 am #

    Reading this blog made my whole body smile 🙂 How amazing for you that you found this truth for yourself–that you control your own reality–and then went on such a lovely trip! The West is a glorious part of the States and a perfect place for you to go after such a huge revelation. That area of the country really can nurture you if you let it. Thanks for the quick update, enjoy your volunteering and looking forward to your next update! hugs to you!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


Blog Fiction

absorbing peace

my walk away from alcohol


recovery from booze, a shitty father and an eating disorder

Dogmatic Panic

the pursuit of meaning

Violet Tempest

Author of Gothic Horror & Romance

Walking in Sober Boots

Footfalls on a Path of Recovery

Out From The Void

Doo, doo, doo lookin' out my backdoor

Ditching the Wine

Getting myself sober; the ups and downs

The Sober Experiment

Start your journey of self discovery

Sober and Well

Live your best life free from alcohol

The Phoenix Files

The Outspoken Opinions of S.M. Phoenix


Filling my Cup with what Matters

winesoakedramblings - the blog of Vickie van Dyke

because the drunken pen writes the sober heart ...

I love my new life!

Changing my life to be the best me. My midlife journey into sobriety, passions and simple living/downshifting.

Waking up on the Wrong Side of 50

Navigating the second half of my life

Sunbeam Sobriety

Just a normal lass from Yorkshire and her journey into happy sobriety


Welcome to my journey to end my addiction to wine!

Without the whine

Exploring the heart of what matters most

New Beginnings

My Journey to Staying Sober.

Sober Yogi

My journey to wholeness

The Sobriety Tree

Putting in roots; mixing metaphors at the leaf level


A sobriety blog started in 2019

A Spiritual Evolution

Alcoholism recovery in light of a Near Death Experience

No Wine I'm Fine

An alcoholfree journey in New Zealand with a twist


I am a retired teacher who quit drinking and found happiness! After going deaf, I now have two cochlear implants!

Life Beyond Booze

The joys, benefits and challenges of living alcohol free


In reality I was barely functioning at all - life begins with sobriety.

Mental Health @ Home

A safe place to talk openly about mental health & illness

Faded Jeans Living

By Dwight Hyde

Moderately Sober

Finding my contented self the sober way

Sober Courage

from liquid courage to sober courage

Musings Of A Crazy Cat Lady

The personal and professional ramblings of a supposedly middle aged crazy cat lady

Life in the Hot Lane

The Bumpy Road of Life as a Woman 45+

Wake up!

Operation Get A Life


A psychiatrist blogging about her own demons and trying to deal with them sober

Storm in a Wine Glass

I used to drink and now I don't


I got sober. Life got big.

Laura Parrott Perry

We've all got a story to tell.

Finding a Sober Miracle

A woman's quest for one year of sobriety

Dorothy Recovers

An evolving tale of a new life in recovery

Lose 'da Booze

MY Journey towards Losing 'da Booze Voice within and regaining self-control

Life Out of the Box

Buy a product, help a person in need + see your impact.

Laurie Works

MA., NCC, RYT, Somatic Witch

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

The Soberist Blog

a life in progress ... sans alcohol


Getting sober to be a better mother, wife, and friend


the musings and reflections of one person's mental amusement park

%d bloggers like this: