12:54 pm
Every day’s a good day when you’re not hung over.
This morning, I was up at 8. I went for a run, walked the dogs, made a pot of coffee, and then, video-chatted with an apartment in the big city–where I’ll be headed for a month to enjoy, earn, and hopefully, plan for a future with *more* enjoyment and *more* earnings than I have now.
NONE of this would be happening if I was still drinking.
I look at drinking as a bad habit now. I don’t have time for it, literally. I would like to have a glass of wine, but…I’m not even sure I won’t be hung over after ONE glass. So, I choose to not go there. That’s where it’s at for me. I don’t yearn for the days when doing everything I did this morning was NOT EVEN ON MY RADAR. I don’t long for feeling like shit, being treated even worse, and wallowing in anxiety and depression caused by alcohol, imbalance, and lack of perspective and priorities. I don’t. At all. I saw a trashed Heineken bottle in the grass as I passed with the dogs and was like, Oh. I have come to see drinking as something that I could do, but don’t. I don’t. I choose not to.
It’s great to be in this place, where it definitely feels as simple as a choice to NOT be drunk, to NOT waste the night, to NOT feel utterly ill the next day, to NOT be enslaved to this idea that altering my mind is going to make me feel better, calmer, happier, or zoned out. Yes, I want to feel calmer, and happier, and sometimes I want to zone and forget about the unresolved issues (my brother is still in that category, and it grates); but, I know that there are solutions to these problems that are not booze, and that actually work to solve them.
It’s clear now: drinking is not a solution. Drinking is the problem. For many more of us, drinking is a manifestation of deeper, unmet needs–problems, or just issues that need to be resolved.
This is why I keep staying sober. I would not be here–and would not be able to plan ahead and make long-term goals happen–if I was still using up the majority of my free head space thinking about drinking.
More later, friends. Just checking in. I’m off to a pool party; I made a lemon meringue pie, but I dropped the store-bought crust so had to improvise with a quickie made from scratch. We’ll see… 🙂
Drunky Drunk Girl 
Love it…what I did this morning sober would take a week if I was drinking (or not get done at all). I hit 341 today…after reading this post, it’s 341 good days! Thanks!
Thanks for the post this really resonates with me.
Have fun at your party. I bet your crust will be better than store bought anyway!
Awesome post and a great reminder why I am doing this for myself. Feels alone at times…when everyone else is drinking and appearing to have fun. I just tell myself I’m living for the mornings now instead of the nights! 🙂
Exactly!!! 🙂
Everyone else is having fun, but you’re having an entirely DIFFERENT kind of fun… and it’s way healthier, too!
Fabulous xx
I love your infectious happiness and optimism. Thanks!
Love this a lot. A very big lot. Great post to read. Bea x
Reblogged this on club east: indianapolis and commented:
Reading this stellar post from Drunk Drunk Girl is a good way to get back in touch the critical parts with yourself.
So go read. Now. Yes, you.
you go DD girl.. love it all.. have a wonderful trip!
“I have come to see drinking as something that I could do, but don’t. I don’t. I choose not to.” this was awesome~ i feel kind of teh same way~ now I have a choice. the obsession is gone for the most part~ I feel i have a bit more of control now and I don’t want that life anymore, the obsession, thinking about drinking and doing the drinking~ b/c the next day was always filled w/ pain, guilt, anger and resentment and I don’t want to be that person anymore. Drinking is the problem w/ me not the answer like I thought it was! Thanks for sharing! hugs, MB
Just wanted to say it is encouraging for me to hear the new perspective, (ditto here). I enjoy your blog, been quietly checking in from time to time. . . pie and pool, nice! Thanks for writing still.
Lemon Meringue pie!?!!?!?!? Temptress
Love all of the “choice to not …” Reminds me I still have choices to make today. I am not a hostage in my life. So thank you. How did the crust turn out? L.