4:10 pm
So, I am in “overwhelm” mode at the moment. That place when your brain implodes from the sheer amount of distracting, and mostly useless, information out there from our 10 million feeds, accounts, and profiles.
God.
Number one biggest trigger: too much information.
Number two biggest trigger: missing out on some important information that I’m supposed to know as a freelance journalist. I know, I know, there is always going to be a huge gap between that millennial who seems to know it all and be able to keep up, and me; but, into that dark night I will not go quietly. So, I force feed myself–and then, apparently, vomit it all over you, my dear readers.
(That’s why I’m a writer: I would never be able to say these things in person, to you. And, I am eternally grateful that you’ll read them, and hopefully not take offense.)
Generally speaking, I think I probably consume more heavy information than other “laypeople.” That doesn’t mean that we all are not utterly bombarded with a constant stream of shit that we have to not only take in, but process. I don’t think most of us really understand how our brains are working, but they’re working really effing hard to retain, categorize, and discard the most unimportant information. But with stories to read, the headlines that constantly ping us; the Beyonce video and all that Buzzfeed bullshit to parse; with emails and notes to self and poems never started, book chapters barely dented, not because you can’t hold your focus beyond a few paragraphs but kind of; and well, all the other in real life stimuli? Good God.
Today, and recently, I have had to close Facebook down–nope, I’m consciously choosing to miss those stories that might be relevant, or even provide fodder, for my next pitch. I am fully aware that by NOT having a Twitter account–or, at least not actively participating on Twitter–I may be intentionally doing harm to my chances of not only succeeding in the world of freelance journalism, but in even being taken seriously (at least what I’ve heard and read, which probably doesn’t paint an extremely accurate picture).
Oh, Twitter. Is it a necessary evil? (Maybe I can hire someone to do Twitter for me? Some said millennial who hasn’t had her concentration brain pathways already torn up by red wine–haha.) Twitter is, for me, some next-level cray when it comes to information overload, and I just can’t. I don’t have the patience, the gut for it. It makes my belly clench just thinking about it, trying unsuccessfully to take it all in, process the ever-expanding amount of things and ideas and facts and news headlines and PR points and opinions, all of which each individually ping my brain to think and my heart to feel…just a little bit of something–but, within milliseconds, I can no longer remember what.
We don’t think about it, we just do… Until we can’t. I’m at that point today. I just can’t.
I’ll be OK, though. Writing this helps. Writing helps. Sitting down and getting it out, helps. I read a little today. Sitting down and taking a small piece of a much longer narrative in, well, that is an antidote to reading only a headline and moving on to the next one, ceaselessly. In fact, an information diet doesn’t sound half bad. Now, if only I can get past the fear of not logging in.
Drunky Drunk Girl 
That post just made me want to SCREAM. In my business, I have to check email very regularly (or at least the anal part of my personality thinks that I have to) and this is on a PC AND phone, off and on all day. I can’t imagine doing what I do drunk… I’d probably totally lose it and tell someone to F off. Facebook can suck up massive chunks of time, but it’s like a train wreck..I can’t look away. Being drunk might give me the urge to tell half of the dumb asses just that…they’re dumb asses, and worse. Alas, being sober keeps me from wrecking havoc in a “techie” world that is both a necessity and a overwhelming irritant, but it doesn’t keep me from wanting to run from it all. I like the way you handle the overload. But I refuse to join Twitter just BECAUSE. hahahaha!
Good to hear from you DDG. You cross my mind every now and then and I’m always glad to see the email from your blog!
i think I must be a dinosaur or something because all this social media stuff to me is just SHIT! I hate Facebook, refuse to open an account, Twitter, just more useless unnecessary twaddle, Instagram, waste of your time and my time and on and on. I don’t feel the need for all of this instant information. If something is important I will find out about it via another source. I don’t watch the news, read the papers and try to avoid finding out about anything when I am strolling around the few sites I go to online. If the is a remote chance I will glance anything to do with the stupid, useless Kardashians I won’t risk it. Someone asked me how on earth I coped without Facebook and I said I couldn’t cope with it. Gee I sound ranty and this would be so much easier to explain face to face. I guess I feel bad that you feel so trapped by it all and can understand given your job but it is so much more freeing to not have to deal with all of that empty fake bs that everyone spews out there. Sorry bluster over, I will withdraw to my cave and rub my sticks together to make fire now.
Hahaha. Love this! I am working on trying not to feel like I am missing out–it helps to go on Facebook at the end of the day, at which point I have already found most of the shit out that I “need” to know. Thanks for this, not a rant at all.
Love this! I also live in a cave. We should get together for a cappuccino sometime.
Love your posts and blog. I just started a new blog for me and my place journal my sobriety, divorce, etc… It’s nice to see others and their experiences. Thank you. Feel free to read my blog as well!
I guess Im lucky in a way since my drinking made me completely unsocial. I should actually create facebook account lol
I absolutely relate. Too much information is a huge trigger. It’s just TOO DAMN MUCH. I noticed I was having a good day until I logged on to Facebook. It’s just put me in overdrive and I crashed. Not the computer, but ME. We have to start taking care of ourselves and being observant by what puts us in that place. But thank God for writing. Writing does help and you my friend, are a terrific writer. Raise your glass of water and “this is for you!” Keep it up.
Thank you for this! So well said. That happens to me all the time–I open FB, and I just crash. I notice that my days, overall, are just better when I do not touch social media… Right now, I feel like I just cannot handle anything that I don’t need to know, and man, not only is everything on FB “don’t need to know,” but it’s all stuff that somehow serves to aggravate my brain, like a mosquito constantly buzzing in my ear. It’s really quite fascinating, almost, to observe what happens when I scroll mindlessly (literally, because I remember nothing) through my feed. Thanks for your comment, it means a lot on a day when I’m feeling like writing is not my calling…
I hate FB. I hate having an online presence, which is why I have an anonymous blog. Also, relative sanity seems important because I am also a freelance writer. How do we fight this need for self-promotion? It seems so false and gratuitous. I want nothing to come up when you google my name. Feeling your pain — Finding a Sober Miracle.
Hey lady. How is your info diet going? I seriously struggle with this too. I have moved out of the journalism world for the most part but still feel the need to keep up, even though it has nothing to do with my work anymore. WHY??? Ugh. I would love to hear how you are doing with it and if you have any tips.
I am actually not doing that well at the moment–I think the problem is, we try to stay on “top” of it all, but there is no way anyone ever can…so we are constantly failing (in our eyes). I can only consume so much; most of it, I turn off these days, in favor of just doing the “bare minimum” and hoping that one day soon, I’ll be able to take in as much as I used to.
Hi! I’m kind of brand new to the blogging world (well, 5 weeks old really) and I wanted to say hello and leave my first ever comment using my fancy new blogger identity.
I agree the information diets are needed, if not necessary sometimes. Disconnection from the digital world always helps me recharge. Replenishment personified. I don’t have a Twitter account either and always feel somehow guilty for not marching along with the masses. What’s up with that? I put in plenty of time on what I like to call The Book (aka, Facebook) so why the Twitter guilt? So strange.
Anyway. Your blog has been inspiring me as of late; I started following you earlier this week. Thank you for your voice, honesty and fantastic use of ‘fuck’. I am enjoying it all!
Welcome, and thank you! And, congrats on 5 weeks–that is awesome…