4:10 pm
So, I am in “overwhelm” mode at the moment. That place when your brain implodes from the sheer amount of distracting, and mostly useless, information out there from our 10 million feeds, accounts, and profiles.
God.
Number one biggest trigger: too much information.
Number two biggest trigger: missing out on some important information that I’m supposed to know as a freelance journalist. I know, I know, there is always going to be a huge gap between that millennial who seems to know it all and be able to keep up, and me; but, into that dark night I will not go quietly. So, I force feed myself–and then, apparently, vomit it all over you, my dear readers.
(That’s why I’m a writer: I would never be able to say these things in person, to you. And, I am eternally grateful that you’ll read them, and hopefully not take offense.)
Generally speaking, I think I probably consume more heavy information than other “laypeople.” That doesn’t mean that we all are not utterly bombarded with a constant stream of shit that we have to not only take in, but process. I don’t think most of us really understand how our brains are working, but they’re working really effing hard to retain, categorize, and discard the most unimportant information. But with stories to read, the headlines that constantly ping us; the Beyonce video and all that Buzzfeed bullshit to parse; with emails and notes to self and poems never started, book chapters barely dented, not because you can’t hold your focus beyond a few paragraphs but kind of; and well, all the other in real life stimuli? Good God.
Today, and recently, I have had to close Facebook down–nope, I’m consciously choosing to miss those stories that might be relevant, or even provide fodder, for my next pitch. I am fully aware that by NOT having a Twitter account–or, at least not actively participating on Twitter–I may be intentionally doing harm to my chances of not only succeeding in the world of freelance journalism, but in even being taken seriously (at least what I’ve heard and read, which probably doesn’t paint an extremely accurate picture).
Oh, Twitter. Is it a necessary evil? (Maybe I can hire someone to do Twitter for me? Some said millennial who hasn’t had her concentration brain pathways already torn up by red wine–haha.) Twitter is, for me, some next-level cray when it comes to information overload, and I just can’t. I don’t have the patience, the gut for it. It makes my belly clench just thinking about it, trying unsuccessfully to take it all in, process the ever-expanding amount of things and ideas and facts and news headlines and PR points and opinions, all of which each individually ping my brain to think and my heart to feel…just a little bit of something–but, within milliseconds, I can no longer remember what.
We don’t think about it, we just do… Until we can’t. I’m at that point today. I just can’t.
I’ll be OK, though. Writing this helps. Writing helps. Sitting down and getting it out, helps. I read a little today. Sitting down and taking a small piece of a much longer narrative in, well, that is an antidote to reading only a headline and moving on to the next one, ceaselessly. In fact, an information diet doesn’t sound half bad. Now, if only I can get past the fear of not logging in.
Drunky Drunk Girl 