6:20 pm
…and, it feels good-ish. I have decided to not go on as much, and today, so far, I haven’t logged in to either Facebook or LinkedIn at all. It feels good, for the most part: I like having more free space in my head (and heart), but I don’t like feeling as if I’m intentionally disconnecting/ed from friends, the news, information, reality. Sure, I guess I could just turn on the TV news, but…it’s not quite the same.
I’ll get used to it. Once, a few years ago, I went for ONE WHOLE MONTH–gasp!–without logging in to Facebook. Back then, I had some things that I really wanted to figure out in my life, some choices to make, and I didn’t want the distraction of Facebook to get in my way. I can’t remember if I felt all that antsy not being on it every day; I did feel like I was missing out on “what’s happening” in my friends’ “lives,” but, that was three years ago, when friends actually posted about their lives and I actually saw their posts.
Now, it just seems that all I see are news, sponsored ads (gah, I HATE sponsored ads), and, um, the odd post that is both genuine and interesting to regular old people, aka, your “friends.” I still see the odd “photos from our family trip” once in a while, quite a few baby pics (I don’t get why people are still posting baby pics to Facebook; if I were a parent, I would never do that–maybe I’m just paranoid); I still see “this is what I made for dinner” posts, and I do see interesting shared news here or there. However, these days, most posts seem highly curated–people don’t share off the cuff, and they are aware that what they share can and will be used (for or) against them.
For me, it’s taking up too much space in my head; just thinking about going on Facebook makes my head spin and gives me a bit of anxiety: WHAT am I going to encounter today that is going to make me angry or emotionally unstable? Haha. Seriously. It’s like, after I’m done scrolling, I have this feeling of void; like, my ability to think creatively and positively (about what I, myself, am going to do that day) seems subtracted. And, especially during this COVID-19 quarantine/lockdown period, where days and goals and projects have been sort of turned around, when we really need to cultivate a sense of structure, if we are that kind of person (I am!)–I guess I just need all my time and space to myself, to figure out how to best live my life right now.
I hope everyone is hanging in there. I am on week 2 of my furlough, and last week was great as I got a lot done. This week? Well, I think I’m going to continue to work on my writing, but, that includes starting some new projects–which I have yet to create for myself. Now that I don’t have to write about my work stuff, I am free to…explore, I guess. I was talking to my brother last night, and he reminded me that I don’t have to be productive during a pandemic. I get that; I mean, I would like to figure out what is going to excite me, as a writer, in the next few months or years; but, I’m not going to get crazy about it.
I’d love to um, learn a few languages (haha–not just one, but two) and start on the whole Ancestry.com thing. Mainly, I’d love to read; guys, I am THE WORST reader. When I set my mind to it, I can skim-read books in hours. BUT, I am not one to pick up a book anymore in my free time and read for pleasure–last few years, at least, I’ve just felt that I can’t afford the time to do that, I have all this other stuff to do. Well, now that I don’t feel that other stuff breathing down my neck, I do want to give myself permission to read more books. Finally, as we all probably know, there is SO MUCH TELEVISION to watch, it’s unfathomable!
There is one thing that hasn’t changed during this time: I just don’t drink. And, I am still utterly grateful for that fact of my life, every hour of every day. It’s strange how it can be that way, but, every day, almost, I wake up grateful to not be hungover, grateful that I get to do all this stuff that I just rambled on about, grateful that I am here, present, able to see the trees, the forest, and everything in between. And, I haven’t forgotten that it was my readers who helped me get through all the hard places and dark nights (the night, indeed, can be dark and full of terrors). And that, I am still in recovery, I will probably never be able to drink again, and I am grateful for those things, too.
Drunky Drunk Girl 
Really lovely post. I too definitely don’t miss Facebook nor LinkedIn. I’d forgotten how much those used to consume my life in the past, but rarely made me feel truly connected, even when interacting with my closest friends. I much prefer email or a phone call or private video chat. Thank you for the reminder, it actually makes me feel like somehow I have progressed from somewhere… and hopefully I can do the same with Instagram next.
I’ve dwindled on IG over the past year but I still sometimes feel like I need to be on it (especially on my private personal account) to keep up with friends’ lives. But the closest people in my life, well, I don’t need to interact with them by IG, and there is a lot of noise there, now that IG is as ad-ridden as Facebook became. Same privacy issues as well since IG is owned by Facebook.
Again, lovely post, and thanks for sharing it. It’s helpful. xoxo Nadine
if you ever get bored, go back to the start of my blog and read what i went through during my 6 month break from Facebook. It was a real rolled coaster ride but i sure did learn a lot about myself and the amount of toxicity i had been exposing myself to. I got back on in January but i have not seen it in the same way since.I thought i would be overjoyed at reconnecting but it has been extremely underwhelming. And right now, besides the insane amount of ads ( which was part of the problem before and has just gotten worse – count them some time!) its all political and Covid conspiracy stuff…ick…
Great post. I’ve never used FB much but I can guess that if you use it a lot it must be a wrench to try and steer clear. You mention learning a language. I’d say go for it. There are so many good, free resources out there, Duolingo, conversation exchange, clozemaster etc that it just takes some organisation and discipline. I highly recommend it! Jim x
Very good suggestions–thank you!
Not on FB or LinkedIn. Or IG or Twitter.
Ditto to what Jim said about language learning.
There are many free university courses available now too.
Trying to limit my news reading time to avoid going down the rabbit hole of despair regarding Covid 19.
There are many brave men and women making huge positive impacts on other people’s lives but many irresponsible ones in positions of power making reckless decisions which will kill countless people unnecessarily. Sorry doesn’t cut it.
I’m doing my bit by staying home. Feeling very grateful.
I know that I would be better off without Facebook and Twitter, but I am afraid I will miss some big announcement.
I have limited my time watching the news. I had been obsessed.
So much change in life. It’s very hard to know what is healthy and what is destructive.
I am extremely fortunate to be working from home. I mostly worked in an office alone, so it is truly no different productivity wise.
Personally it is awesome. I have a space to work and my kids mostly sleep in the day, so it me and the rabbit and budgie. I know where my kids are and I no longer have a 100 km round trip drive every day.
The first few weeks were unsettled. I think it takes us all time to let go of routines and make new ones. I still shower and get dressed every morning, but no make up and comfy clothing. We don’t use video conferencing, only audio.
I look at my grey hair and wonder about the future.
Take care.
Anne
Yes, just YES, to everything in your comment–I am on the same page with pretty much all of what you wrote here. I, too, fear I will miss out on something on Facebook, which is why I am only taking a break. I love this: I look at my grey hair and wonder about the future. (I did, too, until I just touched up my roots today on my own–)